Monopoly: A Child's Game or Dangerous Activity?
by Hanyou Hugger
Summary: The group is forced to play Monopoly!!! Money, virgin ears, and brick walls! Woo baby!!!


Hi hi! This is my 2nd Inuyasha story ^_^;;; The idea in my head was funnier than this but that's ooooookay. Ummm... Inuyasha and affiliated characters don't belong to me. But I did draw a picture of some pie. And Prince. And someday I'm going to own a monocle. Enjoy ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
Monopoly: A Child's Game or Dangerous Activity?  
  
  
  
Ah, yes, it was another typical day in the Sengoku Jidai. The birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing, and the moaning of a young kitsune added to the symphony of nature. "Waaaaaah, I'm bored! Bored bored bored bored bored!!!"  
  
Inuyasha peeked open one of his cat-like eyes from his position of lying flat on the grass, the amber orb focusing on the fox. "Then go do something, brat. Do us all a favor and--"  
  
"Inuyasha!!! Don't be mean to Shippou-chan! I think we're all a little bored, actually. Why else would we be randomly sitting in an isolated field with nothing to do?" Kagome scooped the kitsune into her lap as she gestured at their surroundings.  
  
"Hmmmm... Perhaps we could go in search of some more Shikon shards or maybe even Naraku... I only have a limited amount of time to destroy him and all...." Miroku intentionally cleared his throat and shook his right hand, the rosary's beads clacking together to emphasize his point.  
  
"But, Miroku!!! That's not fun! That's evil! Evil evil evil evil--"  
  
"I think houshi-sama gets it, Shippou..." Sango calmly placed her hand on Shippou's head, stopping him from continuing his incessant ranting. "Besides, we go and look for Naraku all the time. Don't be so selfish, houshi-sama!"  
  
"Geez! Even I don't think about me all the time! Always after Naraku to save your pathetic little life--"  
  
"And this is coming from a guy who always drags us into problems concerning a corpse, Inuyasha--"  
  
"How about a board game, ne Miroku-sama???" Kagome dramatically pulled out a box from her bag. Her crammed bag that somehow holds a life time supply of instant ramen, school books, a set of bow and arrows, medical supplies, and now a large and rectangular board game. Someone has a fetish for Mary Poppins, if you ask me.  
  
"Eh? What's a 'bored' game? Do you play that when you're bored??? Eh? Eh??" Shippou was again in his hyper state, the former doom he was focusing on before forgotten.  
  
"Ummm... I guess so. This one is called 'Monopoly'. The person who ends up having the most money wins! Oh, and there are little plastic houses and hotels there, too. Everybody ready? I'm the boot!" Kagome opened the box and spread out the board, taking out five little sliver figurines and placing them on a corner marked 'Go'. She looked at them expectantly, already sitting on one side of the board. They looked at her blankly, looking back and forth between each other, mentally debating if time travel affected one's sanity. "C'mon! It's just a game! It's fun! Oh fine, here! Just pick a playing piece and I'll show you how to play." Inuyasha was the first to step forward, ready to give the board a little 'trim' if it proved to be less than 'fun'. The other three shortly joined him, cautiously each picking up a silver miniature.  
  
"I'll take this one, Kagome-sama. Isn't this small man riding on that horse just dashing? Charming? Slightly resembling? Don't you think, Sango-sama?" Miroku brandished the silver piece in Sango's face, adding a flashing smile as she looked at it doubtfully.  
  
"Of course, houshi-sama. You look just like him. Now if only you would gallop away and take that hand of yours with you!!!" She pried his offending hand from her *ahem* backside and grabbed the nearest object to place between her and the lecherous monk. In this case it happened to be a conveniently placed 10-foot high brick wall. Dusting mortar from her hands, Sango picked up one of the figurines, marveling at the tiny and rigid hat.  
  
"I want that one, Kagome! That one!" Shippou frantically began to point at a small piece that she later explained to him as being a 'car'.  
  
"I guess this one is yours then, Inuyasha! Here you go!" The schoolgirl handed him the remaining piece, trying to stifle a giggle at how even inanimate objects mocked his appearance.  
  
"...."  
  
"It's cute! It looks just like you!!!"  
  
"It's a dog. Why did I get left the @#$%*!$ dog??? Why couldn't I have gotten that horse guy???"  
  
"Oh, it must be fate, Inuyasha! Stop complaining and roll the dice! You can go first!" Kagome handed him the dice, which she told him were not possessed more than once, as she hid the other left over silver figures from sight. "Ah, just roll them and go that number of spaces that add up! Ah! I almost forgot! Everyone gets some money first! Miroku-sama, do you think you can be the banker since the box top is closest to you, minus the brick wall?"  
  
"Banker?"  
  
---Half an hour later---  
  
"Gaaaaaah, what the !@#$# is this???"  
  
"I believe that's... let me see... 600 dollars you owe me."  
  
"I don't owe you nothing, monk!!! I'm not gonna give you my money!!! Shippou has almost bled me dry already!!!"  
  
"Which is kinda funny since I only have one house--"  
  
"Which we had to pry from your throat after you thought it was one of Kagome-chan's pieces of 'candy'..."  
  
"Inuyasha!!! Give Miroku-sama the money!!! It's only a game!!! Don't make me say it!!!"  
  
"You wouldn't!!!"  
  
"Osuwa--"  
  
"!@#!$ $@!^%$#^ *@#$!@!!! There's your @!#$ money you--"  
  
"My virgin ears!!!"  
  
"Ah! You've soiled Shippou's pure soul, Inuyasha! One more outburst like that and I'll sick Kirara on you..."  
  
"Mew."  
  
"Where'd that thing come from???"  
  
"Internet."  
  
"..."  
  
"Back to the game after that strange outburst, Kagome-sama... I believe it's your turn..."  
  
"C'mon, dice! Show me the money!!! Teehee~! Ooo, I passed 'Go'! Banker, if you please..."  
  
---Another half an hour later. Monopoly can go on forever!!!---  
  
"Gaaaaaaah!!!! @!$!#%--"  
  
"Remember the promise, Inuyasha..."  
  
"Mew."  
  
"Just give Miroku-sama his money, Inuyasha!"  
  
"Thank you, Kagome-sama. I believe that's... 800 dollars!"  
  
"But then I'd be almost broke!!! You're corrupt!!! Some 'Banker' taking everyone's money like that..."  
  
"Maybe you would have more money if you would stop putting all those houses and hotels on that one space..."  
  
"Someone's gonna land on it sometime... And I'll be rich!!!"  
  
"Everyone has landed on every space except that one, Inuyasha."  
  
"Shut up!!! It's your turn now anyway..."  
  
"Nuh-uh. I'm in jail remember? Blasted 'Chance'!!!"  
  
"Then it's my turn, right Kagome-sama? The dice if you please!"  
  
Miroku rolled the two dice, one of the cubes ramming the miniature dog piece ("HEY!") and sending it toppling over the Boardwalk. The silver man on his silver steed galloped not one, not two, not three, but four spaces ahead. "What the--"  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHA!!! IN YOUR FACE! YOU SEE THAT KAGOME???"  
  
"I see it, I see it..."  
  
"Who would have that houshi-sama would land on that one space..."  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--"  
  
"Aaaaah, Inuyasha's maniacal laughter is hurting my soiled ears...!"  
  
"Mew."  
  
"I don't think even I have enough money for that space... I'll make you a deal, Inuyasha. Come over here...." With that Miroku led a slightly perplexed but still eerily cheery Inuyasha away from the others into a nice a secluded spot of trees in the middle of the otherwise flat meadow.  
  
"I wonder what houshi-sama is up to... He better not be planning anything perverted..."  
  
"Maybe Miroku finally gave up on women! La de da~"  
  
Sango froze. Kagome froze. Shippou continued to make his miniature car race around the board.  
  
"He was getting rejected a lot.... but he wouldn't ask.... not with Inuyasha...."  
  
"...."  
  
"Sango-chan?"  
  
"...."  
  
At this inopportune time, Inuyasha and Miroku came striding back into camp, both with devilish grins on their faces.  
  
"Glad that's been settled..." Nudge nudge.  
  
"Nice doing business with you, monk..." Wink wink.  
  
"..."  
  
"Ummm... guys--"  
  
"Kagome, there's something I gotta tell you--" Another wink in Miroku's direction.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no--!!!!!"  
  
"Sango-chan????"  
  
"--no no no no no no no no no--"  
  
"Sango-sama???"  
  
"--no no no no no no no no no--"  
  
"OI! SHUT UP!"  
  
"Mew!"  
  
"Aaaaaack!!! You're @!$!@#$ cat is attacking me!!!"  
  
"--you and and and him!!! Was it because of me??? I'm sorry!!! Don't give up yet!!! This can't be happening!!! Noooooo!!!"  
  
"...what? *sweatdrop*"  
  
"Sango-chan thinks you asked Inuyasha a certain question, Miroku-sama."  
  
"Asked him a...? What are you...? Oh. Well. Well then. Well well well...."  
  
"--nooooooooooooooooooo--"  
  
"Get this @#$!#@% offa meeee----!"  
  
"My mind has been soiled!!!! Aaaaaaa--"  
  
Kagome sat there in silence. Sango was screaming her head off, thinking Miroku and Inuyasha had been better 'acquainted'. Miroku was in a state of shock. Inuyasha was currently being mauled. And Shippou's mind was beyond repair. What was a young schoolgirl to do? Why, look at this piece of paper that fell on the ground of course!  
  
"A Monopoly property card? Hey! Who scratched out the name of the....??? Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--!!!!"  
  
Everyone stopped. I suppose a young girl's cry of distress brought everyone out of thier own problems. Either that or it was really really loud. Hmm.  
  
"Ummmm... Maybe I shouldn't have dropped that." Inuyasha's ears fell back against his mass of white hair. "Well... ummm... as you can see...."  
  
"Why is my name on this card??? I AM NOT PROPERTY!!!"  
  
"Well... you see... Miroku...."  
  
"I needed some bargaining power, Kagome-sama. So I wrote your name on the card instead. Banker is supreme, you know."  
  
"But I don't wanna be property...!"  
  
"Now now, Kagome-sama! It says so on the card!"  
  
"But--"  
  
"Just humor Inuyasha, Kagome-sama. We all know that he's more of a pet to you than you could ever be a---"  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"Weeeelll... Okey dokey!!!"  
  
---Same Time. Same Place. No...Different Place...---  
  
Kouga was running like he had never run before. Run Kouga Run!!! He had heard Kagome's scream and was rushing to her as fast as possible. See Kouga Run!!! He was going to save her from whatever that dog-turd was doing. Go Kouga Go!!!  
  
---Back to where we were before...---  
  
"It's your turn, Sango-sama."  
  
"Don't look at me!!!!"  
  
"Well, there is this brick wall..."  
  
"STOP IT! I SAID STOP!!!"  
  
"Well then..."  
  
"Sango-chan.... Ah! Kouga-kun!"  
  
"Kagome!!!"  
  
"You're stepping on me you--"  
  
"Why were you screaming earlier, Kagome??? What did that dog-turd do to you???" And he added an extra kick to that dog-turd he was using as a footstool.  
  
"Oh! That? Sorry, sorry! Overreacting, that's all! See, silly story! I'm just quote unquote 'Inuyasha's property' now! See? Silly!"  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
"Stop saying it's silly!!! Miroku wrote it fair and--"  
  
"Dog-turd!!! I challenge you!!!"  
  
"....Kouga-kun? Ummm..."  
  
"I accept your challenge! We'll see who Kagome belongs to!!!"  
  
"Traveling back to a time before women's rights has its drawbacks...sigh."  
  
--Many long hours later--  
  
"Are Inuyasha and Kouga still fighting over me as a meaningless object?"  
  
"Mmmmmyep."  
  
"I guess the game is over then, isn't it?"  
  
"Mmmmmyep."  
  
"Who won anyways?"  
  
"Well, Sango-sama counted up everyone's money--"  
  
"AAAIIIEEE!!! DON'T TALK TO ME!!! I DIDN'T SET YOU ON THAT PATH!!!"  
  
"..."  
  
"Ummm... Sango-chan? Who won?"  
  
"Kagome-chan? Is that you?"  
  
"I think you can tear down the wall now, Sango-chan..."  
  
"NEVER!"  
  
"I see. Ummm... who won?"  
  
"Lessee... Ah! Shippou did! Then Inuyasha, then Miroku, then you, and then me."  
  
"Shippou??? But he only had a house!!! A rather wet and slimy house....Bleh."  
  
"Well, I made a few extra trips to the bank while everyone was screaming, actually."  
  
"Ah! They really did corrupt your mind, Shippou-chan!!! Where did you learn something like that???"  
  
"Internet."  
  
The End.  
  
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My second story! ^_^;;; I liked the beginning but after ummm... a short while really I kinda slacked off =P Oh well. Did anybody actually like it? My other story in my opinion was funnier but what the hey! ^_^;;; And wooo buddy, am I glad for spell check! I'm worse at spelling than Miroku is at pickup lines! Zing!!! Speaking of, I'll leave you with this pickup line:  
  
"If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be a McBeautiful!"  
  
(Miroku should use that *wink wink*) 


End file.
